The other day I was doing a little introspection and thought I'd see what the internet had to say about that. I was surprised when I came across a succinct little list of "Ways to Get to Know Yourself Better." Overall, it was very well thought out and written, but one particular point was original to me and really hit home. It basically said that when you see a behavior in another person that really irritates or upsets you, consider that it may be a behavior that you yourself engage in and are upset about. This idea struck me as very true, and I was able to look over some situations that bothered me and identify how I was angry because I felt like I was looking in a mirror when looking at the other person's behavior.
One good example of this is that I often feel irritated when I think that someone is wasting their time. I've caught myself thinking that people would be better off partying or slacking off less and focusing more on the important things in life. But when I turn that around and look at myself, I realize that I'm terrified of wasting my time. Why? Because I do waste my time. I often escape from big, worrying thoughts or problems that can't be fixed (read: important things in life) by watching movies or shows. I learned this from my Mom, and it's a very effective and sometimes necessary means of letting go of reality for awhile and immersing myself rationally and emotionally in a pretend universe. But I'm afraid that I do it too often. I'm afraid that instead of unraveling my thought process or doing the dishes, I'm watching the making of the Lord of the Rings. Granted, sometimes it's nice to have voices in the background or to watch something curious and engaging or to just escape from a tiring day. But I don't want to do it to the extent that it overwhelms other, more important, parts of my life.
Another thing that often upsets me is when folks don't respond to my calls or texts in an ungodly prompt fashion. I start to think that they don't like me or that something has happened or that they fell off a bridge and found an underwater kingdom where their phone somehow worked but they decided not to call me because they thought I'd feel awkward hanging out with semi-cannibalistic mer-folk.
When I use the person as a reflection, I see that I sometimes will not respond to calls or messages when I dislike or feel awkward around another person. I know there are some other issues revolving around respecting and understanding other people, but as it relates to the mirror effect, I see how I feel disappointed in myself for avoiding people rather than just coming out and being honest about my feelings. It's scary, not to mention unusual, for people to be that frank, and in a lot of cases I don't have anyone to look to for guidance in this. But I think just realizing that being irritated when people aren't crazy prompt is just me reflecting how I feel upset for not being more forward. In some cases, I believe it is just best to let things go. But I know I need to learn to be more respectful and honest with other people, regardless of any feelings I do or don't have concerning them. I know that it would be better for everyone involved to be clear on the situation, and I'm hoping it will help clear my conscious and ease my phone related irritability.
